A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking American Airlines," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"American Airlines?" exclaimed the barber. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes
are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So,
where are you staying in Rome?"
"We'll be at the downtown International Marriott."
"That dump! That's the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small,
the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, what'cha doing when you
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the barber. "You and a million other people
trying to see him. You'll be at the back of St Peter's Square and from
that distance he'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this
lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut. The
barber asked him about his trip to Rome.
"It was wonderful," explained the man. "Not only were we on time in one
of American Airlines's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up
to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful
28 year old stewardess who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was
great! They'd just finished a $25 million remodeling job and now it's
the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they
apologized and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the barber, "I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss
Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the pope likes to
personally meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step
into his private room and wait, the pope would personally greet me. Sure
enough, five minutes later the pope walked through the door and shook my
hand! I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me."
"Really?" asked the Barber. "What'd he say?"
He said, "Where'd you get the shitty haircut?"