Taoism: Shit happens
Hinduism: This shit happened before
Islam: If shit happens, take a hostage
Buddhism: When shit happens, is it really shit?
7th Day Adventist: Shit happens on Saturday
Protestantism: Shit won`t happen if I work hard
Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it
Jehovah's Witness: Knock, knock, shit happens
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to me?
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama, rama, ding, dong
Atheism: No shit
T.V. Evangelism: Send more shit
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke that shit